(take that mp3 and) stick it up ya RIAA!

What is this, some sort of bust?
(yes it's very impressive)

Now is the time when I share a little information about myself and my reasons for
making this page. Please note, I reserve the right to make up or withold any
information I choose. This ain't no blowjob and you ain't no Ken Starr.

For your purposes my name is King. No, it's not my real name and no, I'm not an
Elvis fan (although people have told me that I do a great impression of dead Elvis
after a night of drinking when I'm passed out on or near the toilet -- I'm not sure). I am
a college student at a school in Washington, D.C. and I'm majoring in a subject that
might get me a job (unlike those sociology/psychology/history/gender studies freaks
who might as well be majoring in Starbucks Barista Technology).

This page is the result of my observations of the mp3 scene over the past year or so.
You might say my mp3 cherry was popped my freshman year, and like anyone
who's discovered a dirty new game, I wasted no time in becoming something of
an mp3 slut. When I wasn't engaged in misdemeanor underage drinking or unprotected
sex, I was downloading mp3s (though there was this one occassion that I was
downloading and going down at the same time, but that's another story).

Sites like Blex, Outer Limits, The Asylum and the Chaos (now called Mediafind)
search engine were my regular stomping grounds. Plenty of links to plenty of leech
sites -- what more could a whore like me want? Oh, it was great while it lasted -- until
one night something happened...

No, I wasn't caught by the RIAA or campus police. I simply came to the realization that
sitting in front of my computer listening to music through a pair of crap-ass speakers
was about as enjoyable as when the doctor put that greasy magic marker up my
butt (all guys get that test, right? Right?) How fu_king fascinating is it to sit there and
watch the little Winamp oscilloscope thing bounce up and down, wondering what
useful purpose it has. And what if you had a girl come over and you wanted to put
on some Barry White to get things all freaky but you have to tell her, "Hold on, let me
boot up my computer and load an mp3 playlist." You know for damn sure the minute
she hears the words "boot up my computer" she'll be three blocks away.

It seems in my mp3 frenzy I forgot how enjoyable it was to pick out a CD, put
it in the player, turn up the volume and sit back and enjoy the music, read
the lyrics and otherwise distance myself from the computer. Yeah I could hook up the
computer to the stereo and listen, but where's the activity in that? Plus, the sound
quality of an mp3 played through good speakers on a good stereo just can't
compare to a CD, no question about it.